"I guess I just want to know where I can start," he admits. There's so much that he doesn't know and when he focuses on that lack of knowledge, it makes him feel powerless. Worse, it makes him feel like he's missing something obvious -- something right in front of his nose and bigger than he can even put words to. "I don't like thinking that whatever life I led was so empty that I can so easily walk away from it," he explains.