hard to live in the city

[priorcommitment]

Within the city, the park is one of Ishiah's favorite places to go. There's something about having an open space surrounded by frenzied movement that appeals to his sensibilities, enjoying the idea of having an oasis amid the chaos. It allows him to keep a closer eye on people as well, tracking those whom he can — that list, unfortunately, seems to grow fewer by the day. Something about this place keeps on stamping down on his abilities.

It's not the easiest process to bear.

Still, he sits on a bench in the middle of the park, learning to suppress his anger, which has surfaced all too often as of late. Too many variables completely out of his control. Too much that he needs to try and learn, but can't guarantee that he will.

When he glances up and catches sight of Castiel in the distance, it's calming, because at least their greeting is one thing he knows is under his control.

"Castiel," he says, lifting his chin in beckoning and gesturing to the empty space beside him on the bench.

Comments

[priorcommitment]

There's something about Castiel's desperation in that moment which Ishiah knows he needs to keep carefully at a distance. Not because he has anything short of affection for Castiel — but instead, because faith is a very delicate matter. And in any angel, it's important to have that faith be strong and lasting even in the most dire of circumstances, because it's all too easy to tip an angel from grace.

"Castiel, think about why you're asking me that question," Ishiah replies calmly. "Should that question make a difference in your faith? Should you need to have that tangible proof of Our Father's existence in order to believe in His will?"

[godless_son]

"Not proof of His existence," he murmurs, eyes dropping in shame. "Proof that He cares enough to answer any of our prayers. Proof that He has not abandoned us."

It's beyond shameful, to have such doubts, he knows this. But after everything, after finding more love and faith in his human charge than in his own Father, it's difficult not to.

[priorcommitment]

Ishiah stares at Castiel for a few seconds, shaking his head shortly after. There are a lot of responsibilities that fall under his belt, but even if he wants to restore Castiel's faith, he knows that this isn't the way to do it.

"What makes my word powerful enough to guarantee that? I'm not the one you should have faith in. Not of that sort. And that's all you would be doing; transferring the faith you should have in Him to my shoulders."