priorcommitment | ragged thin, i begin to venture in the unknown

The only word for it was hollow. A void, somewhere in Ishiah's chest that demanded to be filled, but nothing could satiate the yearning there, the very thought of food turning his stomach and drink only leaving him dizzier than he felt in the first place. He'd scoured the whole of the main island in the past couple of days, and had even considered a venture out to the second island before he remembered that Robin always thought the prospect frightening and shied away even on the multiple occasions Ishiah had been, himself. Perhaps there was also another reason for staying away from that island— the desire to leave some rock unturned, some possibility unexplored, because it felt better somehow than solidifying what he already knew, that Robin was gone. And unlikely to return.

He'd prayed for it, Ishiah reminded himself. He had seen what the island had a tendency to do to Robin, and had watched the puck run around to exhaustion like a rat in a maze. So, wherever Robin was now, it was probably better than Tabula Rasa. Hopefully, he was happy running through the streets of Manhattan, pilfering here and swindling there. But that did not stop Ishiah from spinning in freefall, without the man who had come to be his greater half by his side.

As he stumbled up to the Leandros' hut, Ishiah was surprisingly sober, having made the choice to keep himself from drink until he told them. Because for all that Robin ha been to Ishiah, he was also perhaps the dearest friend that the Leandros had, and that was more than worth respecting. Heavily, he knocked on the door, eyes glassy and cheeks thin. These days, he ran on adrenaline.

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It was late enough that Niko was already back from the first run of the day and he'd busied himself with cleaning the set of knives he'd brought with him to the island. The action was soothing and while not as likely to lull him into a meditative state as the mala beads, close enough. The knock at the door was jarring and it took him a few moments to cross and open it, frowning when he saw Ishiah framed there.

"Something wrong?"

The peri looked...unsettled, to say the least.

There was some amount of comfort to be had when Ishiah saw that it was Niko who had opened the door, and not Caliban. The elder brother was more likely to react calmly, perhaps more so than either the younger or even Ishiah himself, and while normally, the peri was able to find such calm within himself, now he felt that it had to be applied. Absorbed. Learn by example, or at least follow by it. He breathed, deeply, wondering if Caliban was nearby, if the younger brother would overhear.

"Robin is gone," he managed at last, after a couple of unsuccessful efforts, the words leaving him in a single breath. "Robin... has left the island. I thought you and Caliban should know."

Niko frowned a little deeper, trying to work that out. The peri called Zeke had disappeared some time back and Susan had talked about losing her husband and her siblings but Robin was the first time it was someone relatively close to him.

"Disappeared off the island, just like that? When did it happen?"

As he'd predicted, Niko was able to look at the entire situation from a seeming distance— Ishiah's eyes lingered on that furrowed brow, reminded severely of how Niko had been the first human in hundreds of years that Robin had found himself truly endeared to. Like it or not, the Leandros brothers would be taken heavily under his wing, to whatever extent they needed or wanted. He licked his lips again, in spite of the fact that each time left them drier, and rubbed his forehead.

"Wednesday, I believe, but as I didn't see him disappear in front of my eyes, I can't be certain," Ishiah muttered under his breath. "Been... searching the island, wanted to make sure."

"I would offer to help look," Niko said, "But I imagine if you looked as thoroughly as I think you're capable of, there's no real point. I have to let you take the lead on this, Ishiah."

It wasn't often that Niko said such things but in this, he would defer.

The one time that Ishiah felt tempted, on the island, to look to someone for guidance, he wasn't given it. The lack thereof didn't make Ishiah angry, it wasn't even enough to upset the peri, as numb and hurt and hollow as everything made him. But it did hit him with a twinge, and jolted him to the further realization that there were still people on the island who were looking to Ishiah for that. Who would let him take the lead, because he was the eldest among them, if not always the wisest. The peri loved the Leandros brothers in his own way— Cal he knew more intimately, having been the boy's employer for years, but Niko was also important to Ishiah and easier for him to identify with. At least they were there, he thought to himself.

And a moment of clarify passed through his eyes as he looked up. "I have no reason to keep you from searching, if you would like, although I have done my best," he nodded slowly. "Is Caliban around? I—"

He fell silent. How was he supposed to say that he wanted, hoped that he could deliver the news, or at least be there for that millisecond of empathy?

Months we'd been trapped on the island—Nearly half a fucking year by that time—but whatever instincts I had were so deeply ingrained within me that at fifty paces I knew. Pausing at the edge of the clearing, I could see Ish's back where he stood in the doorway, could see the tense set of his shoulders, weary at the edges, and without thinking I had the Eagle poised in my hand before I even stepped from the trees. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I held it easily beside my thigh as I peered narrowed eyes up to the two blondes on the porch.

"What?" I demanded, unmoving, my mouth setting into a thin line.

"Manners," Niko said lazily, then trailed off. No point in chastising Cal; twenty some years of it hadn't stuck quite yet. "It seems Goodfellow has disappeared. Ishiah has searched but he hasn't had any success. I'm not inclined to distrust his judgment in this particular matter."

It didn't sit well with Niko to have the other peri disappear and now Goodfellow. Would he be next? Or Cal? Too uncertain by far.

"I came as soon as I felt sure," Ishiah added, so as not to have Caliban think that the peri was trying to keep the matter of Robin's disappearance from either brother. Maybe it didn't matter, what the Leandros brothers felt, but aside from the fondness that he had gained for both over time, there was that obligation that lingered in spite of Robin's disappearance. Knowing that these two had meant more to the puck than almost anyone else, perhaps more than Ishiah himself had meant. Their relationship, monogamous though it was, often had been more a matter of necessity than strict affection.

He stared at Caliban, hand subtly reaching out to rest on the wall nearby to better steady himself; this body was not nearly as resilient as his true form. "If you feel inclined to search yourself, by all means," he added, and it might have sounded pretentious in the way that peri so often were, if not for the near-silent tone and the way his eyes averted.

I think I deserve credit for not shutting immediately down, even if it was little more than petulance that kept me from it. For a long moment I said absolutely nothing, staring hard at the figures on the porch, fingers practically twitching against the Eagle.

Robin disappeared, I thought but didn't voice; maybe it was just Ishiah's shit luck that he didn't want to be found this time. My eyes narrowed again, holding the peri in my unflinching gaze until I abruptly turned, almost as if waking, and stalked back the way I'd come, gun still clasped in my hand.

There was no fucking way. Robin wasn't gone. He couldn't be gone.

ragged thin, i begin to venture in the unknown

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