priorcommitment: (♘ | even)
Ishiah ([personal profile] priorcommitment) wrote2011-04-08 01:06 am
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and somehow we told him what to do, but he won't ever listen to you

Ishiah was in the middle of quite the quandary.

He'd taken up a seat on the rec room couch some time ago, with the intention of finding himself some text to read, something to pass the time between then and his shift at the Hub. While for weeks, Ishiah's priority had been trying to find a way off the island, in those days he found himself pressed with the more immediate concern of looking after one Caliban Leandros. Filling, some might have accused him of, the void left behind in Niko Leandros' wake, and trying to provide as much normalcy to the young man's life without deliberately calling attention to the way that their group was broken. Only half of the membership it once had— or not even. Caliban was, however, singularly the most frustrating person Ishiah had ever met, even more so than Robin Goodfellow in recent days, and so sometimes the peri needed a good break from all of his worries, finding some textbooks on birds, or a birdwatching manual, anything that could provide him with a reprieve. That day, however, the bookshelf had decided not to comply.

Instead, all of its shelves were filled with a series on parenting, the modern couple's guide to helping their child through his formative years, step by step. Upon seeing the spread, Ishiah's expression had immediately turned into a frown, one laced with confusion.

"I don't understand," he said, moments before he heard someone else enter the room. "Is this trying to suggest that Caliban is a child?"

[identity profile] chose.livejournal.com 2011-04-09 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Although the joke was not so lost on her as it seemed to be on Ishiah, Buffy found herself infinitely more amused by his reaction, one of pure confusion as opposed to the undiluted disdain employed by most, herself not excluded. Traipsing into the room, a smile readily spreading across her face, Buffy cleared her throat as she neared, lifting a hand to wave gently when he turned. Even with his back to her, she could tell he looked worn. Brushing away a tinge of guilt, Buffy remembered how she had counted herself among the lucky last year, Angel having arrived only shortly before Robin disappeared. A fatal error, apparently, the island having wasted no time in teaching her lesson after lesson, first with Giles, then Angel, then really Angel, again and this time for good. So much for luck.

Relying, as she usually did, on her sparkling wit, Buffy wasted no time in attempting to cheer Ishiah up, wasted effort though it might be. Why she graviated toward the stoic ones, she would never truly understand. “Maybe it’s trying for a not-so-subtle hint at something,” she suggested, nudging down at the shelf. Eyes soon widening, she gasped, “You don’t think... Ish, could you be pregnant?”

[identity profile] chose.livejournal.com 2011-04-13 11:39 am (UTC)(link)
Were she so inclined, it would have taken quite the effort for Buffy to remain politely stoic in the wake of Ishiah's confusion. Fortunately for her, she had no intention of trying, opting for just the opposite when she burst into a fit of giggles. Clapping both hands over her face, Buffy shook her head, a little embarrassed yet very amused. "I'm sorry," she managed, looking back up only to be thwarted by the seriousness of his expression, the confused crease of his brow. "I wasn't, I, I was just kidding."

Unsurprisingly, she took her time regaining what composure she could, aided by many a deep breath and brush of fingers through her hair. She hoped that Ishiah wouldn't mistake it for her teasing at his expense, but as grave as he could be, he did also happen to be rather unflappable. Either way, she had needed this, unable to recall the last time she'd had purpose to laugh so much and so freely. It felt good, fleeting though it might be, to be able to just let go for a moment and enjoy herself, not dwelling on what she wasn't doing and who she didn't have here.

"No," she said at last, shaking her head, "You're right. I don't think even the island has the power to bend the laws of biology so thoroughly — and creepily. Unless it interprets that as a challenge, so just let me clarify that it so wasn't, not even a little bit."

[identity profile] chose.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 04:14 pm (UTC)(link)
"For a second there I was worried you'd say something incredibly disturbing and foreboding. Thanks for defying all odds and pointing out the bright side instead," says Buffy wryly, though her tone is lighter than it is sarcastic. She wonders if he'll recognize the difference; he isn't stupid, but something tells her that Ishiah isn't so familiar with sarcasm as she. Then again, he was seeing Robin Goodfellow, making that not too safe a bet. "But enough about abrupt sex changes," she pipes up, waving the thought away with both hands. "Even I have my daily fate tempting quota and I think it's been reached."

[identity profile] chose.livejournal.com 2011-04-23 08:16 am (UTC)(link)
Where to start, wonders Buffy, the question for obvious reasons not posed aloud. There are days when she can muster the energy to be okay, and there are days when she can't be bothered to try. She's not sure which category today will fall into, so she shrugs instead, 'I don't know' the most honest answer she can give at the moment.

"You mind going first?" She isn't quite sure where the question came from, or how it managed to escape her lips, but then it's out there and there's nothing she can do about it. Just smile and hope that Ishiah won't take it the wrong way. She's not unwilling to talk about herself, just not ready quite yet.

[identity profile] chose.livejournal.com 2011-04-30 03:32 pm (UTC)(link)
A short while ago, Buffy had the (not quite) privilege of meeting the fabled Caliban and within moments discerned that he was the most major of jerks. Even so, losing a sibling is something she would wish on no one; losing anyone in general, really, but it's this case in particular that hits so close to home. She knew Niko, if only in passing, and for all that she suspected there was more than met the eye, he made a good impression. Sometimes, it's hard to consider it for the best when someone leaves, that they're being removed from all this at last. It's always easier to focus on what's left behind, and more often than not, what's left is whole lot of pain.

"How is it going? With Caliban, I mean, is he — Are you, the two of you in general, the royal you... s. He strikes me as stubborn." Hopefully, Ishiah won't take her statement the wrong way, meant to sympathize more than pass judgment. On the one hand, she's dealt with stubborn before, Dawn embodying the word in ever way, shape, and form. On the other, Buffy herself can be hardheaded sometimes, where sometimes means oftentimes and oftentimes means just about always.

[identity profile] chose.livejournal.com 2011-05-02 12:20 am (UTC)(link)
There have been times when Buffy herself has been of similar mindset, not as it relates to Dawn — she was created from and for Buffy herself, after all — but regarding her mom. Both her parents, even, back when she was utterly convinced that she'd been the reason for their divorce. That's not the case anymore, not because she's less insecure but because she's channeled that into anger, wanting nothing to do with her father any longer. (That works out, she thinks bitterly, as he wants nothing to do with his daughters, either.) She used to believe, however, that it was her calling which ruined everything for the Summers family, that if only she'd been normal, they could have stayed together. If she'd been normal, her mother wouldn't have had so hard a time.

"You disagree," she guesses, her thoughts returning at last to Ishiah. In some part, it's true that she's diverting from having to talk about herself, but there's so much about Ishiah that's mysterious, she can't pretend not to be interested.
Edited 2011-05-02 00:20 (UTC)

[identity profile] chose.livejournal.com 2011-05-16 06:09 am (UTC)(link)
"Do you have any siblings?" Buffy doesn't know a great deal about Ishiah, but she surprises even herself with the question, finding it strange that for almost a year they have known one another and still something like this remains a mystery. Having read none of the books but watched some of the films, she knows that technically, they're all siblings under God, or something like that. But it's weird to think of the man before her as a brother, and not just because she's so used to a family comprised of strong women.

The way that he speaks, she gets the feeling he's though about it before, that he isn't just thinking this up on the spot. He knows whole lot about and even bigger lot, though, so it's hard to say for sure whether he's speaking from knowledge or experience. All stoicness aside, though, he has always been relatively forthcoming with her, something she definitely appreciates, and hopefully there's no harm in asking.

[identity profile] chose.livejournal.com 2011-05-24 08:10 am (UTC)(link)
"I'm sorry," Buffy says at once, not quite a knee-jerk response but certainly automatic, her voice breaking softly at the end. The suggestion alone is hard to handle, reluctantly reminding her of what it was like to nearly lose Dawn, and how she would have jumped at any chance to save her. How she did jump at the chance, quite literally, and has never regretted it since. She regretted coming back, regretted almost everything she did in the wake of her resurrection, but never the sacrifice itself, that part was never negotiable. For all the time she's spent in churches and cemeteries, Buffy still knows very little about religion, about the Bible, and she wonders what Ishiah might think of such a sacrifice. They say suicide is a sin regardless of the situation, but they're also pretty big on Jesus' sacrifice, so maybe there's a loophole somewhere in there. Mostly, she wonders if Ishiah would do the same himself, but it's not the kind of question one can easily blurt out.

"We can move off the subject, if you'd prefer," she suggests, admittedly a bit uncomfortable herself. Too many emotions and all the time in the world to dwell make for rather unhealthy combinations. "Besides, I just asked, like, twenty questions, you deserve a turn, too."

[identity profile] chose.livejournal.com 2011-06-11 06:08 am (UTC)(link)
Buffy barely fights off a faint smile, distantly aware of how peculiar her reaction given the heavy topic. There are few people here she feels comfortable confiding in, spoiled with the same friends and allies since adolescence back in Sunnydale. She's not a reclusive person by far, but some things are easier to share than others, and even fewer understand so thoroughly what her life has been like. Ishiah is a gift, she's realizing more and more these days, constantly asking herself how she didn't see it before.

Plus, it's always flattering when a cute guy wants to 'better know her,' even if said guy is still mourning the loss of his boyfriend. (Boyfriend, she reminds herself, just in case it didn't sink in the first few times. She would conveniently forget such a key detail.)

"Dawn," breathes Buffy, answering the question with a purposeful nod. "We fight a lot," she continues, mindful to remain in the present tense no matter how long it's been since they were last together. "Not fight, actually, that sounds too dark. More like... squabble. She likes to borrow my clothes without asking and always eats the last of the cereal but never throws away the box. And lately she's taken to teasing me for being shorter which doesn't even bother me because I've been this height my whole life, I'm used to it, I take pride in my height or lack thereof. But just in case, she's not allowed to wear heels."

[identity profile] chose.livejournal.com 2011-06-18 05:56 pm (UTC)(link)
If nothing else, Ishiah deserves a fair amount of credit for bringing yet another smile to her face. She has no delusions about her arguments with Dawn; their spats over the most mundane subjects can seem ridiculous, but the trivial things aren't always so trivial at all. Anyway, the Summers method of burning off pent up tension seems healthier than what Ishiah has just relayed.

"Thanks for that," she laughs lightly, opting not to point out how easy it is to disregard matters of height when one towers over all others in sight. He only meant to cheer her up, a task he's succeeded at quite well if she might say. "If Dawn ever pops up here I'll be climbing on your shoulders just to win arguments," she adds, sticking her tongue out mischievously.

"Is that a widespread angel thing," she wonders, "the not being good with debate? Not that I'm planning to challenge you to one, but you don't strike me as... undebatable." With a sigh at her own choice of words, Buffy waves a hand as if to clear the air, then clarifies. "What I mean is, you seem understanding. To me."

[identity profile] chose.livejournal.com 2011-06-22 07:01 am (UTC)(link)
Although nothing has ever been so cut and dry for her, Buffy can understand on some level how it must feel, she herself still coping in many ways with being the chosen one. There have always been forces within her, hidden deep inside but bubbling all the same, forces she can't yet understand and perhaps never will. In there rests the thirst for the fight, the energy, perseverance, all things she never knew she had the power to summon. In the back of her mind, she knows just what to do, instinct taking over in the heat of battle, as if etched into her mind just as Ishiah is saying.

She doubts his commands tell him to fight and kill; he isn't the Slayer. Death is not his gift.

Lost in thought, it's a while before she remembers it's her turn to speak; when she does, it's to pose another question in hopes of distracting attention from herself. She's busy, now, wondering what monsters hide beneath her skin. "Is it still like that now that you're human?"

[identity profile] chose.livejournal.com 2011-06-26 08:47 am (UTC)(link)
She hasn't exactly been verbose throughout — understandable given that this is Ishiah and they aren't exactly fussing over the latest island gossip — but she remains silent for far longer than usual, this time, at a loss for words. The problem is that she agrees so thoroughly, there's nothing left to be said. Both are situations she is more than familiar with: The impossible decision and the decision that was never really hers at all. The latter defined her life, the former ended it. Funny how that works, she thinks, except not at all. Typically, she's Miss Sunny Disposition, eager to look at the bright side and crack jokes in the face of grave danger, but Ishiah doesn't invite that sort of behavior. She almost worries about disrespecting him, perhaps more preoccupied with his opinion of her than she really should be. He's still here talking to her, after all.

"Yeah," she mutters at last, followed by a solemn nod. "Yeah. I would say that's... accurate."

[identity profile] chose.livejournal.com 2011-06-30 09:01 am (UTC)(link)
"No," Buffy says abruptly, shaking her head. "No, not at all. It's just..." She trails off with a faint laugh, hands busied with tucking back her hair as she tries to find the right words to describe how she feels. That's the other thing about Ishiah, the way that he works, she can't just expect him to look at her and know, though it would certainly be easier than trying to explain. And yet, she evidently doesn't have to worry about him understanding her, he's more than proved that thus far.

With a deep breath, she tries again: "Sometimes you say things like that and it's like, like you're peering into my soul." She cuts herself off with another small laugh, shaking her head softly before adding, "Not literally, of course, I know you're not a mind reader. But there aren't a lot of people like me. Like us. This whole being understood thing, it's kind of new to me."

[identity profile] chose.livejournal.com 2011-07-05 08:24 am (UTC)(link)
By the way that his eyes fade in an out of focus, clouded over in deep thought, Buffy can tell that something she has said set the cogs in his mind in motion. Maybe soul is a problem word for angels, given that he is likely to have more intimate knowledge of the subject than she. But then, their worlds, although alike in certain ways, have far more dissimilarities. The heaven she has visited and the one Ishiah speaks of are not one and the same, but this in particular is a path she would rather not travel; no matter how much time passes, the sting never fades. There are days when she doubts that it ever will.

Ishiah's voice jerks her out of her own thoughts, and she is happy for the change in tone; the current topic isn't the happiest, either, but it is a definite improvement. "For a long time, I thought I was just doomed to be — Okay, this sounds lame but I can't think of a better word than misunderstood. I mean, it's right there in the prophecy, I guess: One girl in all her generation. And even when that part flaked out, when there were two of us, it was pretty obvious we weren't supposed to exist together. We spent more time talking with our fists than with our mouths, if you catch my drift."

[identity profile] chose.livejournal.com 2011-07-11 04:17 pm (UTC)(link)
It makes sense, now, falling well into the same pattern with which Buffy has always been familiar. Her interaction with Caliban has been limited at best — she once told him he looked like a drowned rat and he snarked back with an explanation of perspiration as a biological function — but they hardly got off on the right foot, and maybe that's why. As with Faith, she never could connect with those too similar to herself. Having her home invaded by potential slayers had really begun to get to Buffy, one of the very few positive points of finding herself pulled to the island. (Though still far outweighed by the negative.)

"Well, you know what they say: You can't take the motor-mouthed cheerleader out of the girl," she jokes. Maybe that's where the line went wrong, really, having called a girl so stubbornly committed to living out the life that she wanted. To hear the Watcher's Council tell it, friends and family are the two greatest weaknesses a Slayer can possess. In Buffy's own opinion, they are her greatest strengths. "You know, Ish, you're pretty good at this whole listening and cheering up thing."