priorcommitment: (lake)
Ishiah ([personal profile] priorcommitment) wrote2013-05-12 01:48 pm
Entry tags:

hard to live in the city

Within the city, the park is one of Ishiah's favorite places to go. There's something about having an open space surrounded by frenzied movement that appeals to his sensibilities, enjoying the idea of having an oasis amid the chaos. It allows him to keep a closer eye on people as well, tracking those whom he can — that list, unfortunately, seems to grow fewer by the day. Something about this place keeps on stamping down on his abilities.

It's not the easiest process to bear.

Still, he sits on a bench in the middle of the park, learning to suppress his anger, which has surfaced all too often as of late. Too many variables completely out of his control. Too much that he needs to try and learn, but can't guarantee that he will.

When he glances up and catches sight of Castiel in the distance, it's calming, because at least their greeting is one thing he knows is under his control.

"Castiel," he says, lifting his chin in beckoning and gesturing to the empty space beside him on the bench.
godless_son: (looks right at you)

[personal profile] godless_son 2013-05-15 12:08 am (UTC)(link)
"I am the one who is at fault here," Castiel insists, frowning down at his hands. "I should have sensed the demon's presence right away and allowed my emotionally compromised state to cloud my perception. I think...I think this place dampens my grace which is only more reason for me to work harder. It seems that my emotionally compromised state is here to stay, as they say."
godless_son: (wide eyes 2)

[personal profile] godless_son 2013-05-18 12:19 am (UTC)(link)
"I am in love with him," he states, eyes cutting over to Ishiah's. "We have entered a...well, something. We are going on dates and exclusively engaging in sexual congress. I would like to know if you would be amenable to continuing our practices, together. It is now more important than ever that I be in fighting shape."
godless_son: (hrm)

[personal profile] godless_son 2013-05-18 06:21 am (UTC)(link)
"We are not...we are not not communicating," he murmurs, wondering if he and Dean ought to have had some sort of official conversation. It does not seem like something either of them would be predisposed to doing.

"That demon was stronger, stronger than most I have encountered. It used Dean against me and it nearly killed me. With my own sword. It was not a proud moment."
godless_son: (Default)

[personal profile] godless_son 2013-05-19 10:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Castiel presses his lips together, still unsure how such a conversation would even start or what he would ask of Dean. It's plain that he loves Dean and is uninterested in being with anyone else. He trusts Dean to inform him if Dean's own feelings are wildly dissimilar.

"Can I inquire as to what type of an arrangement you have with Robin? I ask because I see so many different kinds, even among people who are married. I don't know what is standard. I only know what I want."
godless_son: (direct)

[personal profile] godless_son 2013-05-22 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
"I have only and will only want Dean," he says with complete confidence. "I want him in whatever capacity he will allow me to have him. We have not discussed in what capacity he wants me but I do trust him. I trust him to be faithful and I can be happy whether or not he loves me in the way that I love him."

He takes a deep breath at that, willing it to be true before offering Ishiah a small smile. "Congratulations, in advance. I think very highly of Robin, as unlikely as our friendship would seem to be. It is odd to have this conversation with another angel. Discussing love and feelings."
godless_son: (Default)

[personal profile] godless_son 2013-05-23 01:59 am (UTC)(link)
"Dean's own life, in the grand scheme of things, should be a blip. It should hardly even register and yet it's the most defining thing that has ever happened to me. Facing eternity without him is incredibly daunting. It's hard not to try and rush everything." he says carefully, words measured.

"I do not entirely know what I feel like. I am an angel. I still have my grace and my wings but the only thing that feels like home to me now is Dean. Where I go after all of this I do not know."
godless_son: (imploring)

[personal profile] godless_son 2013-05-25 02:57 am (UTC)(link)
"Our Father has been missing for...years. Lifetimes," Castiel mutters, taking a steadying breath. "He brought me back to life several times. I thought it was proof of His love for me. But He abandoned us and...I have never even met Him. Have you met him?"

He turns wide, hopeful eyes on Ishiah.
godless_son: (ashamed)

[personal profile] godless_son 2013-06-03 05:43 pm (UTC)(link)
"Not proof of His existence," he murmurs, eyes dropping in shame. "Proof that He cares enough to answer any of our prayers. Proof that He has not abandoned us."

It's beyond shameful, to have such doubts, he knows this. But after everything, after finding more love and faith in his human charge than in his own Father, it's difficult not to.